Again, don't go out with a dude you give your number to drunk

I've had three bad dates since August that I have been meaning to update with... but as always, life got the best of me.

Which one to tell first...

OK a few weeks ago my friend had a party. The party moved to the bar, and then another bar. The problem is, I don't even remember leaving the first bar. I thought it was incredibly smart that day to only eat 3 scrambled eggs, go shopping for 4 hours, then drink a bottle of champagne and 3 rum and cokes.

Needless to say, I don't remember the third bar.

The next day my friend asked if I had gone home with this guy "Trip". I was like who the fuck is that?! Apparently her friend had seen us talking for a bit. I had no idea who this kid was and I was pretty sure I didn't go home with him since I woke up in my bed, alone (whew).

Then, two days later I got a text. "Hey its Trip. I met you at (insert bar name here). (insert address here). do you want to grab a drink sometime?" I went back to my friend and I told her I guess I not only talked to him, I gave him my number and for some reason he thinks by saying where he lives I should be remembering him. Beyond confused at this point, I asked my friend if he was even remotely attractive and if I should go out with him. She said sure!

I reply and we decide to meet up later that Friday night. By the time he had gotten a hold of me it was like, 11pm, oh and I was kinda drunk. I ask him to meet me outside because honestly, I have no idea what he looks like and I know I wouldn't be able to pick him out of a bar full of people. I was right, I saw him and still had no idea who he was.

I continued to get wasted. The next thing I know I am at his house with some of his friends. He tried to tell me what drunk moments I had when we met (I told him I was blackout drunk and I had no idea who he is really). Apparently we shared a cab home. Who knew! Not only that, he tried to take me to his place (hence the address in his text) and I firmly said NO then slapped him in the face.

I figure if a dude wants to hang out with a crazy drunk who slaps them in the face 30 minutes after meeting them, they must be a keeper.

One thing led to another and I wake up in his bed and leave at 8am. Ok let's fast forward though my youthful indiscretion...

I text him a few days later asking him if he wants to hang out. I mean, I didn't even really like him, but I kinda was starting to feel like a $2 ho.

SEVEN DAYS LATER, he replies.

His reply?

"sorry for the late response. I thought i was going away but i didn't. not up to much. maybe get a drink later this week?"

OK.
Stop.

Dude, you REALLY just told me that
a) you thought you were going away, but you didn't, so you were home and able to text that entire time
b) not only did you not go away, YOU DID NOTHING ALL WEEK BECAUSE YOU DIDN'T GO AWAY.
c) are you fucking kidding me?!

I was so livid. I thought about waiting a few months and being like "oh sorry I thought I was moving, but didn't. Lets never hang out" but I realize that's crazy and proving that it bothered me. Really, it bothered me for like 2 weeks but now I'm just laughing.

It would have never worked anyway. Now instead I can just tell another tale of why you shouldn't date dudes you meet when you are drunk.