I never lost hope. And, it totally paid off.

If I even have any readers of this left (doubtful)...

I won't be posting here for hopefully a LONG LONG time. Why?

I have found myself the most wonderful boyfriend a girl could ever ask for. I obviously have kissed my fair share of toads, frogs, lizards, and any other gross creature you can think of to get here. Despite my many horrible first (and last) dates I always held onto the hope that "Maybe the next one will be the one that works".

Keeping that optimism was the only thing that kept me going. Thank god I never lost that or I would have never met my current boyfriend. I actually met him in real life, not on some internet date, at a party....at my own house. When someone asks if they can bring some of their single friends, ALWAYS say yes because you never know what will happen. (Now here is where I brag)

He is so kind, considerate, thoughtful, and most importantly treats me like a queen. When I wake up hungover with makeup smeared around my eyes and smell like the 3 bottles of wine we consumed the night before, the first words out of his mouth is "you look so pretty this morning" and he means it. He accepts me when I'm at my best, but better yet at my worst; when I'm sick and look like hell he still sees the beauty in me- inside and out.

I never thought the day would come where I would fall so head over heels, and he would do the same thing.

So my only message is the classic saying... Never ever lose hope.

Third wheel

Back in October, I went on my last internet date. I met up with this out of my league super hot guy. We decided to meet up at this coffee shop pretty far from my house. It was a nice day so I decided to hoof it the 15 or 20 blocks. Well, that was a really stupid idea. By the time I got there I was sweating.

Awesome.

We meet up and he is quite handsome in real life. Conversation is a bit awkward. I get really shy when a guy I think is really attractive is even in the same room. We just so happened to be sitting by the counter where the coffee shop owner sat.

She was a totally cute girl that was very sweet. Who also joined in on our conversation. And who basically hijacked my date. I realized it was no longer my date when they talked for 10 minutes without me saying a word. I didn't know how to escape this total hell. I just sat there absolutely mortified, horrified, humiliated, and angry all at once. It was by far the longest hour of my entire life.

I left and almost said WHY DONT YOU GO BACK AND ASK HER FOR HER NUMBER HUH?>?!!? Instead I managed to mumble "yup nice to meet you bye."

I walked home completely crushed. I really have no idea why. I guess I felt like for the zillionth time in my life I lost out to the super tiny cute indie rock girl. I might like that music but I'll never look the part, I'll never be short, and I'll certainly never be petite even if I got down to 100 pounds just because I am simply not built that way. It was just disappointing to see how easily I let shallow guys get to me.

LUCKILY, he wasn't really my type anyway. It took me a day to realize it, but we honestly had very little in common. Whatever hipster, go ride your bike.

Again, don't go out with a dude you give your number to drunk

I've had three bad dates since August that I have been meaning to update with... but as always, life got the best of me.

Which one to tell first...

OK a few weeks ago my friend had a party. The party moved to the bar, and then another bar. The problem is, I don't even remember leaving the first bar. I thought it was incredibly smart that day to only eat 3 scrambled eggs, go shopping for 4 hours, then drink a bottle of champagne and 3 rum and cokes.

Needless to say, I don't remember the third bar.

The next day my friend asked if I had gone home with this guy "Trip". I was like who the fuck is that?! Apparently her friend had seen us talking for a bit. I had no idea who this kid was and I was pretty sure I didn't go home with him since I woke up in my bed, alone (whew).

Then, two days later I got a text. "Hey its Trip. I met you at (insert bar name here). (insert address here). do you want to grab a drink sometime?" I went back to my friend and I told her I guess I not only talked to him, I gave him my number and for some reason he thinks by saying where he lives I should be remembering him. Beyond confused at this point, I asked my friend if he was even remotely attractive and if I should go out with him. She said sure!

I reply and we decide to meet up later that Friday night. By the time he had gotten a hold of me it was like, 11pm, oh and I was kinda drunk. I ask him to meet me outside because honestly, I have no idea what he looks like and I know I wouldn't be able to pick him out of a bar full of people. I was right, I saw him and still had no idea who he was.

I continued to get wasted. The next thing I know I am at his house with some of his friends. He tried to tell me what drunk moments I had when we met (I told him I was blackout drunk and I had no idea who he is really). Apparently we shared a cab home. Who knew! Not only that, he tried to take me to his place (hence the address in his text) and I firmly said NO then slapped him in the face.

I figure if a dude wants to hang out with a crazy drunk who slaps them in the face 30 minutes after meeting them, they must be a keeper.

One thing led to another and I wake up in his bed and leave at 8am. Ok let's fast forward though my youthful indiscretion...

I text him a few days later asking him if he wants to hang out. I mean, I didn't even really like him, but I kinda was starting to feel like a $2 ho.

SEVEN DAYS LATER, he replies.

His reply?

"sorry for the late response. I thought i was going away but i didn't. not up to much. maybe get a drink later this week?"

OK.
Stop.

Dude, you REALLY just told me that
a) you thought you were going away, but you didn't, so you were home and able to text that entire time
b) not only did you not go away, YOU DID NOTHING ALL WEEK BECAUSE YOU DIDN'T GO AWAY.
c) are you fucking kidding me?!

I was so livid. I thought about waiting a few months and being like "oh sorry I thought I was moving, but didn't. Lets never hang out" but I realize that's crazy and proving that it bothered me. Really, it bothered me for like 2 weeks but now I'm just laughing.

It would have never worked anyway. Now instead I can just tell another tale of why you shouldn't date dudes you meet when you are drunk.

From a boy's point of view...

A friend of mine (who i actually met through an internet dating site, OH MY!) has recently delved into the whole dating world. He is out to prove, its not just girls that have shit for luck. And, in this case, ok fine its true.


Consider this proof that it isn't any easier for a guy to find someone worth dating.

So I got a message on okcupid, the girl looked really hot in her pictures, and we had a lot in common. In her third message to me, she asked me to hang out and gave me her phone number. This struck me as odd, because this was only 3 messages in, and all 3 messages took place in the same afternoon. I figured what the hell, and called her up.

Now this chick was latina, which was cool, but talking to her on the phone I could tell there was gonna be a problem. Her accent was heavy and I got the feeling like she didn't know how to speak en ingles. The phone conversation wasn't THAT bad though, or at least that's what I was willing to convince myself.

The date was scheduled for a few days later. I went into the city and waited at a bar...she was going to come meet me after she got out of work.

Let me just say, from the second she walked into the bar I knew I was screwed. She walked in and I knew I wasn't attracted to her, but I figured what the hell. Then she sat down and opened her mouth....GOD THE HORROR. I'm really not that picky (I promise), but her teeth were dark brown and pointing in several different directions. And her breath was funky.

Not that she said anything. She didn't really talk or drink, so we sat there while I drank 2 or 3 beers. I wanted to leave. I wanted to go to the bathroom and climb out a window. But I stayed. Then we left the bar and she suggested we get sushi. I agreed. Why did I agree...???? Argh.

So we walk to this sushi bar and again, I'm doing all the talking. She's really awkward and doesn't seem into me. I don't seem into her. Still, we're going through the motions. We eat a couple of sushi rolls and exit. I start the whole "Well, it's getting late routine (even though it was only about 9pm)" and she again insists we do something else.

We end up at another bar. I'm drinking. I'm talking. She's sitting there. Saying nothing. Drinking nothing. Still with the foul breath when she does talk. Oh god. Oh god. Help me.

Finally we leave this bar and at this point it's raining. She has to get to the train. The station is 5 blocks in the opposite direction from where my car is. She says "you don't have to walk me if you don't want." I say ok, have a good night, go in for an awkward hug, SHE DOESN'T HUG BACK. Awesome.

Two blocks later, I get a text: "Hey I thought things were going really well but I guess you just weren't that into me. Have a nice life"

What the fuck? Did she really think that was a good date? And why did I stay that long? I need to learn to be more of a dick. The date was like FIVE HOURS and cost me $80+.

When will I ever learn?

Young bucks.

It has been a while since I updated. Mainly do to lazy summer days, then stressful summer days. I'm exhausted, but can't sleep, so here I am!

I think I've mentioned it in posts before, but I am a self admitted agest. I don't like younger guys for a laundry list of reasons, and never gave them a chance. Well, after talking to some of my friends who had gone on dates with younger guys, I decided to try it out. After all, my friends were having pretty OK luck, I should too right?

I turned 26 this summer, which I'm fine with. To start my experiment into the younger guy world, I figured that 23 wouldn't be too terrible.

I started talking to "Jack" and we got along pretty well online. I was talking to him online, blabbering about how bored I was and wanted to go for a drink but all my friends were being lame. He suggested we meet up for a drink so I was like ok sure. A short 20 minutes later I showed up, basically putting forth zero effort into getting ready. Alright, so maybe I was already trying to sabotage my own experiment by looking kinda like a slob, but how about we put that to the side for now...
I think that both Jack and I went in thinking 'this is probably going to be pretty lame, but since I have nothing else to do, might as well' and then in the end we were both pleasantly surprised. Granted it was like 8 beers later, we both admitted to each other we were expecting either horribleness or just pals. He was surprisingly mature for his age, very smart, and pretty fun. Once the bar closed we went back to my place for a bit. After a few hours of making out I realized maybe I liked him? Just maybe...
Fast forward a few days. At this point I realized I could really care less if we hung out again or not. I talked to him and he went on about this long elaborate story of what was going on in his life as of late. I do not doubt the fact that all of it was true, but in the end it was really just him saying in so many words, I doubt I'll have time to see you again this month, or probably ever again. At first I was thankful for the round about brush off, at least I wouldn't feel slighted. Then I realized what was a big pile of bullshit.

Before hanging out I knew he was seeing someone else. Which maybe was why when we hung out I wasn't expecting anything. The bottom line is, my guess is that while he has this that and the other going on, it wasn't so much all of that, but the fact that the other girl he was seeing he liked better. I appreciate him ( I suppose) trying to protect (maybe) my feelings, but I can't help but think he is a total coward!

I think I am just way too logical to date. I've told a guy or two or more, no I cannot go on another date with you. Why? I was seeing someone else when we went out and things are getting more serious. You are a great guy though, so good luck. Simple as that. I just wish that people would stop sugar coating things. You met someone else? Great! Just let me know and don't go through all this effort trying to make it seem like something else. Stop blaming everything else about your life other than the obvious on the reason we will not go on another date. I just have little patience for this kind of thing anymore.

In the end, I really would have liked to stay friends with him, because he is kind of awesome. I have a feeling that whole night of making out for hours might get in the way of that though. Might just be a bit too awkward for him to handle. I could care less, but as mentioned before I can sometimes be a bit too whatever about those things.

After the experience with Jack, I decided I needed another trial, just to make sure I was right all along.

I went out with another 23 year old a week or two later. Kip was a total bro type of guy, not my normal type, but I am all about branching out. We meet up and it was another blazing hot day. I was praying the air conditioning would be on full blast when we got to our destination. The date was pretty ok, nothing so fantastic I went home blabbing to my gal pals. I liked him though, normalcy and all. He was the type of guy you bring home to the parents. We get to the end of the date, and there I was paying for myself. Oh I failed to mention, Jack also didn't pay for me. I guess I am starting to see a trend?
Side note: let me clarify I'm not some bitch that expects her boyfriend to pay for her all the time. I do think that on the first date you should though. I went a solid 4 years of never ever having my dates pay for me, then when a few of them started to and I realized that was pretty normal, I just don't want to go back to those days haha.

Back to the subject. Kip said he had fun and I should call him when I got back from my trip. There are a number of things I am a bit weary about when it comes to Kip. I caught him in a pretty stupid lie that just was so stupid I didn't understand why ANYONE would bother lying about it.
I got back and I have yet to call. I would say it was an OK first date. Normally I would be like 'hell no I am so not calling', but almost a year ago I told myself I need at least two dates to really figure out if I like this person or not. I really think you know on the first date, but the second date is just really confirming you do not like that person. I thought that until last November I went reluctantly on a second date. The second date was light years better than the first, so I have tried doing that ever since. Too bad it hasn't happened again since then! I have gone on plenty of second dates that have just reaffirmed I am not really that into them in that way. I think back to this guy I went out with right after Christmas. After the first date I knew it was not a romantic connection. After the second date I wanted to barf at the thought of even holding his hand, but smiled when I thought of what great pals we could be! The third hang out I called him my new friend when introducing him to my friends and watched his face crumble. I felt terrible. I told him we should be friends and I think we had a great friend connection. After telling him this he promptly stopped talking to me. Oh well. Have fun making no new friends!

I realized I needed a third and final young buck to put the nail in the coffin. This third one (who really was the very first, long story) is actually really fun. We are going out again soon. I already told him I like hanging out with him, but I never want to date him. His response? I'm going to make you want to date me. Hmm. Really, I'm just incredibly attracted to him and would like to have him as eye candy for a while. Evil? Perhaps, but he knows all this. I told him flat out a few times, stop paying for me, this isn't a date. I just think you're funny and hot so lets be friends that maybe kiss every once and a while. He is the exact opposite of what I am looking for. I can't wait till this blows up in my face. Rest assure, it will end up here. I think right now a casual once a month date is what I need more than a boyfriend.

I guess that is enough ranting and raving for the time being. Wow, that was tiring. Ha!

The two schools of thought...

It finally feels like summer. While I would love to do summer things with a boy and plan cute dates, right now my switch is set to single mode. Nothing blog worthy as of late... but I was having an interesting conversation not too long ago.

I was asking some friends if they thought this guy liked me (yes I know, so 5th grade) and basically getting advice. I couldn't tell if he just thought of me as a friend or maybe had an interest. That conversation then lead to me saying, well, I'm not sure I even really sure I like him. Now this leads to the two schools of thought.

Friend A was like, if it wasn't there right off the bat, it never will be. She is married and said the first time she hung out with her husband that she knew that they would be together for a very long time, even though she had a boyfriend at the time.

Friend B thought that great relationships could grow out of friendship. Maybe it isn't obvious at first but one day you just realize, hey, I think I like them. Maybe we should date.

I looked at what I have been through in the past, and I have to go with friend A. I used to be if I didn't go home gaga over a the date, I wouldn't go on a second one. Those are the dates I want again. The ones where you go home and you just can't wait to wake up to relive the night over in your mind for already the 50th time. Anything less just seems pointless.

As for the whole friends developing into something, just no. I have quite a few friends that I started hanging out with because I had a huge crush on them. Then one day, that switch flipped. I all of a sudden didn't give a shit they didn't like me. The funny thing is, once a past crush actually started to like me. Problem: that switch had been flipped. I couldn't go back to liking them. They almost repulsed me at this point (when thinking of them in that nature).

All I am trying to say is I guess, I am just waiting for that head over heels first date. When I find that, I'll stop the madness that has ensued the past few months.

Madness that hasn't been blog worthy, yet.

I love weird occupations.

I had a flashback today of my drunk days.

Once I was at a club and I found a dude half way through the night I found a pretty cute boy to dance with. A little bit later I found myself making out with said stranger for ... a few hours... in the corner of a dark club. Sexy!

We emerge from the club around 2:30am. I get into the "day light" aka street lap light and I was like wait... this dude is kind of gross...

We go to get some food at a local diner so he can sober up to drive home (smart). We go to a diner and I realize, wow he kind of looks like a caveman. For me to realize this drunk should say enough, because I basically have negative standards when intoxicated.

I ask him what he does. He replies- I make marching band uniforms.

What?!

Yes, he worked at a manufacturing company that makes marching band uniforms. He drove back to wherever he came form that night and never saw him again. I do have the bragging rights though of making out with a dude that made many a high schoolers complete dorks.